Carley, Carley oh Carley!

As salespeople we have all been blamed for things that we feel are in no way our fault, and indeed this may be one of those situations. However from a customers point of view you are the salesperson , so who else am I to blame? None of us likes to sell to friends or employees , as these are always the jobs which come up with the newest and most unique problems., and are always the first people to whine and complain.

But let me explain, after I began work on the latest household renovation, my dear wife decided the bathroom needed to be painted, this automatically meant the walk-in closet had to be done , which flowed right into the bedroom. Since I was not being called on to do this job I had no complaints , just call our friend Steve the painter and give me the bill. The problem then started , when daughter got involved and it was decided the window coverings, would then also require replacement. A good man then knows when to keep his mouth closed , and friend Carley is called.

I do not know when it happened , but one day we had window coverings and the next day we had newspapers taped to the window. Was Carley involved? I do not know , but the timing would have been about right. Perhaps this was done in case I said no way , there was now, no turning back, or maybe wife and daughter made the decision. Who knows, but please look at the attached photo to see what, who , has been staring at me all night every night since Carley was around. This woman is just plain spooky, she is like the Mona Lisa god knows what she is planning or thinking. All I know is she has totally killed any sex life , while she is hanging there starring at me. I can barely sleep, I am getting stress headaches, and all other normal functions are severely stilted, and I blame Carley. Carley please get the new blinds in. You will get paid sooner and I will be able to go back to a normal life. Maybe even get to start sleeping in my own bed. Thank you Carley.



Nothing, but I did Have Diarrhea...

I have a date. Every Wednesday night I drive my granddaughter Charlotte to highland dancing. I get to sit with the loopy , left wing , glebite, yummy mommies, while we wait for the kids. Charlotte and I then go to McDonald's or Timmy's for a snack on our way home for dinner. I generally , then stay and read a story before the kids go to bed. I try to use this time for the bonding process and engage said five year old in conversation. She has not figured it out yet, but my favourite question to get the ball rolling is, What did you learn in school today?. I have never found any kid able to answer this question with anything other than, nothing or I do not know.

Last week this all changed with the reply," nothing , but I did have diarrhoea" "and I had to clean myself up, because the teachers cannot help". I blame the yummy mummies for this insanity especially when said granddaughter is sitting on my new velour car seats.
Maybe I am getting older, actually I know I am, don't laugh dummy so are you. But I no longer always understand the tv commercials I watch. I think some are referring to new computer electronic stuff, movies, i-pods, games, hand held books, and berry, pickers. Some I believe have something to do with on line banks. RBC and the one with the swiss guy saying" save your money" by giving it to him. Why would I give my money to anyone who does not even seem to have an address?

But my favourite commercials to denigrate , are the toilet tissue ones. Why is it even necessary to advertise toilet tissue? Are there really any people, in this country that do not use it? Maybe some hutterites or Mennonites, or some other throw back sects. But they aren't watching tv either. What I don't get is why do tissue makers find it necessary to include cute cuddly little animals in their ads. Does having three bears ala Goldilocks finding a tree to squat behind , and then discussing the amount of tissue required to do the job ,merely annoys my sense of intelligence , and what is this about the terrible problem of little white bits left behind? Is this really a problem? how would you know? you would have to be considerable more flexible than me, to see your own posterior, and would you really want to?

Then again what is it with the cute little Persian kittens , batting around a roll of tissue, is this too illustrate its softness or cuddle ability.? If it is, then would not the kittens seem much softer and more cuddly, in which case why not just use them? one would have to make sure you kept them claw side out. But they are self cleaning and so totally recyclable. Buy them once and use them forever.